Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
