i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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