Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
