Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize