yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
