im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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