another moral hangover. fuck.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
