yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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