I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
