Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
