don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize