I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
