sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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