I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
