Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry sexybtch hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(217): View more from Illinois

Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?

Fav 17 4064 1587
share tweet
(740): View more from Ohio

He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.

Fav 22 5151 1572
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(917): View more from New York City

My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.

(917): View more from New York City

Also pregame at mine tomorrow?

Fav 3 3460 1250
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

Fav 4 3303 1026
share tweet
(317): View more from Indiana

Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.

Fav 8 2275 1338
share tweet
(256): View more from Alabama

Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.

Fav 8 3813 1194
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.

(1+44): View more from

I regret nothing

Fav 3 3157 1686
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN

Fav 1 20 64
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(434): View more from Virginia

Whats a little breast milk between friends?

Fav 0 53 38
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT