Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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