I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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