accomplished twins. life is a go
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize