There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is my gift to your gina
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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