Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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