Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
