Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
