So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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