I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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