All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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