Kiss
Puke
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
