pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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