Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
