he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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