you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
