i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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