i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
