I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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