Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
