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• (614): View more from Ohio

  ...is it true? will i see you next weekend

  (248): View more from Michigan

  YES.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.

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• (315): View more from New York

  You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?

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• (646): View more from New York

  Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?

  (435): View more from Utah

  Yeah.

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I was spiderman.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...

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