party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
