whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
