And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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