Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
