There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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