okay pat passed out under dana's car
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
this hospital has no fireball
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
