And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
