marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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