16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize