Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
