Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
