He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
