How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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