I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
