hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
