R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My legs feel like baby dolphins
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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