i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
