Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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