New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
