I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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