I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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