Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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