I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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