She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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