the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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