Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
