Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
