The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
