Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize