I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
