I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize