Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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