when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My feet surprised me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
