I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Someone signed my nipple.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
