I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
